A Weird, Weird World

[Yuk YuK]

It's A Weird, Weird World

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In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male
animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.
He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also
applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be
covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick??)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than "going blind!")
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having
sex for the first time .. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly
forbidden for virgins to marry.

EnZyTe BoB and I are moving to Guam ! byeeeee

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the
world that even comes close to this?)
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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's
illicit lover, on the other hand, may be
killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in
tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one
exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine
only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for
consumption on the premises."

(Is this a great country or what? Well ... not as great as Guam!)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
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Humans and dolphins are the only species that
have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of .?)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And you think that I have bad breath!)

May the Force be with you!!
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TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO

HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.



THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail":

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights
Cut off all but "G" movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued fordiscrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot its gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.

He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.

When the inmates complained, he told them,"This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.





More on the Arizona Sheriff:

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just
set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living
in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.

Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks.

"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 = years."It's inhumane."

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates:"It's
120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.

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