Post by Yuk YuK on Mar 3, 2006 4:13:29 GMT -5
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said,"let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Union
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a
convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the
local brothels. When he got to the first one, he
asked the Madam,"Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied,"I'm sorry, it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls
get?"
"The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man
stomped off down the street in search of a more
equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search
continued until finally he reached a brothel where
the Madam responded,"Why, yes, sir, this IS a Union
House."
The man asked,"And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do
the girls get?"
"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00."
"That's more like it!!!" the Teamster said. He handed
the Madam $100.00, looked around the room and pointed
to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then
pointing to an 85-year-old woman in the corner,"but
Ethel here has seniority."
www.wimp.com/kidcaught/<--- hey hey hey !
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said,"let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Union
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a
convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the
local brothels. When he got to the first one, he
asked the Madam,"Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied,"I'm sorry, it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls
get?"
"The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man
stomped off down the street in search of a more
equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search
continued until finally he reached a brothel where
the Madam responded,"Why, yes, sir, this IS a Union
House."
The man asked,"And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do
the girls get?"
"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00."
"That's more like it!!!" the Teamster said. He handed
the Madam $100.00, looked around the room and pointed
to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then
pointing to an 85-year-old woman in the corner,"but
Ethel here has seniority."
www.wimp.com/kidcaught/<--- hey hey hey !