Post by Yuk YuK on Feb 27, 2006 4:24:10 GMT -5
Subject: After Life!
A couple made a deal that if one of them died, the
other would come back and describe how the afterlife was. Their big fear was that there was no heaven.
Well, after a good, long life, the husband passed away. True to his word, he made contact with his wife....
"Mary.....Mary....."
"Is that you Fred?"
"Yes, I've made contact like we promised."
"What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning and have sex. I have
breakfast, then I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I eat lunch, then have sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day, I start all over again."
"Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven!"
"Not exactly. I'm a rabbit in Kansas."
...................................................................................
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One
day she calls home and a strange woman answers.
Wife: Who is this?
Maid: This is the maid
Wife: We don't have a maid.
Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
Maid: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I
assumed was his wife.
The wife is fuming. She says to the maid..."Listen,
would you like to make $50,000?
Maid: What will I have to do.
Wife: I want you to take my gun from the desk and shoot
him and the woman he's with. The maid puts the phone
down. The wife hears footsteps and the gunshots, then
more footsteps.
Maid: What do I do with the bodies?
Wife: Just drag them out and throw them in the
swimming pool.
Maid: But there's no pool here.
A long pause.............................
Wife: Is this 832-4821?
A couple made a deal that if one of them died, the
other would come back and describe how the afterlife was. Their big fear was that there was no heaven.
Well, after a good, long life, the husband passed away. True to his word, he made contact with his wife....
"Mary.....Mary....."
"Is that you Fred?"
"Yes, I've made contact like we promised."
"What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning and have sex. I have
breakfast, then I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I eat lunch, then have sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day, I start all over again."
"Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven!"
"Not exactly. I'm a rabbit in Kansas."
...................................................................................
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One
day she calls home and a strange woman answers.
Wife: Who is this?
Maid: This is the maid
Wife: We don't have a maid.
Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
Maid: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I
assumed was his wife.
The wife is fuming. She says to the maid..."Listen,
would you like to make $50,000?
Maid: What will I have to do.
Wife: I want you to take my gun from the desk and shoot
him and the woman he's with. The maid puts the phone
down. The wife hears footsteps and the gunshots, then
more footsteps.
Maid: What do I do with the bodies?
Wife: Just drag them out and throw them in the
swimming pool.
Maid: But there's no pool here.
A long pause.............................
Wife: Is this 832-4821?