Post by Yuk YuK on Feb 26, 2006 4:40:56 GMT -5
Two little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents, when the mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward their upstairs bedroom. The father gets the message, and they both
get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys and says,"We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay down here and watch TV and we'll be right back. Okay?" The two boys nodded OK.
So the parents take off upstairs. The older of the two boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and gets up and tip toes upstairs.
At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's bedroom and shakes his head. He goes back downstairs to his little brother.
"Come with me," he says, and the two little boys tip toe back up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, the older boy turns to his brother and says,"Now I want you to keep this in mind - this is the same woman who used to bust our asses for sucking our thumbs!"
Subject: ANOTHER Texan story
A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new
"city" outfit.
He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a
sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered,
"Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a
complete city outfit."
Her eyes lit up as she asked,"Where would you like to
start?""Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Size 53 tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied,"How about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 double E."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Nineteen and a half neck, sleeves 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am. I spect I'll need a hat."
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Eight and five-eighths."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked,"Is there anything
else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as
the Texan counted out his money, she blushed and
asked,"Sir, could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer
is four inches."
Astonished, she blurted out,"Why, my boyfriend is
bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied,"From
the floor, ma'am?"
What about Brains!? lol
get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys and says,"We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay down here and watch TV and we'll be right back. Okay?" The two boys nodded OK.
So the parents take off upstairs. The older of the two boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and gets up and tip toes upstairs.
At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's bedroom and shakes his head. He goes back downstairs to his little brother.
"Come with me," he says, and the two little boys tip toe back up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, the older boy turns to his brother and says,"Now I want you to keep this in mind - this is the same woman who used to bust our asses for sucking our thumbs!"
Subject: ANOTHER Texan story
A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new
"city" outfit.
He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a
sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered,
"Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a
complete city outfit."
Her eyes lit up as she asked,"Where would you like to
start?""Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Size 53 tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied,"How about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 double E."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Nineteen and a half neck, sleeves 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am. I spect I'll need a hat."
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Eight and five-eighths."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked,"Is there anything
else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as
the Texan counted out his money, she blushed and
asked,"Sir, could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer
is four inches."
Astonished, she blurted out,"Why, my boyfriend is
bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied,"From
the floor, ma'am?"
What about Brains!? lol