Post by Yuk YuK on Feb 13, 2006 3:46:17 GMT -5
The Court Room,,,,,
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to
you?
Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch
on
a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and
sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed
away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: And you allowed him to continue?
Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive
and
excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and
said
to him..."Take me ... young man... Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled,"April Fool!".... And
that's
when I shot the little bastard!
> HOW TO PROTECT YOUR ADDRESS BOOK!
>>
>> Here's a computer trick today that's really
>> ingenious in its simplicity.
>>
>> As you may know, when/if a worm virus gets into your
>> computer it heads straight for your email address
>> book, and sends itself to everyone in there, thus >
>> infecting all your friends and associates. This
>> trick won't keep the virus from getting into your
>> computer, but it will stop it from using your
>> address book to spread further, and it will alert
>> you to the fact, that the worm has gotten into your
>> system.
>>
>> Here's what you do: first, open your address book
>> and click on "new contact," just as you would do if
>> you were adding a new friend to your list of email
>> addresses. In the window where you would type your
>> friend's first name, type in AAAAAAA. Same in space
>> labeled screen name. For email address enter:
>> AAAAAAA@AAAAAAA.AAA.
>>
>> Now, here's what you've done and why it works:
>>
>> The "name" AAAAAAA will be placed at the top of your
>> address book as entry #1. This will be where the
>> worm will start in an effort to send itself to all
>> your friends.
>>
>> But, when it tries to send itself to AAAAAAA, it
>> will be undeliverable because of the phony email
>> address you entered. If the first attempt fails
>>(which it will because of the phony address), the
>> worm goes no further and your friends will not be
>> infected.
>>
>> Here's the second great advantage of this method: If
>> an email cannot be delivered, you will be notified
>> of this in your In Box almost immediately. Hence, if
>> you ever get an email telling you that an email
>> addressed to AAAAAAA could not be delivered, you
>> know right away that you have the worm virus in your
>> system. You can then take steps to get rid of it!
>>
>> Pretty slick huh? If everybody you know does this
then you need not ever worry about opening mail from
friends.
Been Caught Cheating
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with
another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she
dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his
penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the
handle.
Next she picked up a hacksaw.
The husband terrified, screamed,"Stop! Stop! You're not going to
cut it off are you?"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said,"Nope. You
are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to
you?
Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch
on
a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and
sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed
away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: And you allowed him to continue?
Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive
and
excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and
said
to him..."Take me ... young man... Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled,"April Fool!".... And
that's
when I shot the little bastard!
> HOW TO PROTECT YOUR ADDRESS BOOK!
>>
>> Here's a computer trick today that's really
>> ingenious in its simplicity.
>>
>> As you may know, when/if a worm virus gets into your
>> computer it heads straight for your email address
>> book, and sends itself to everyone in there, thus >
>> infecting all your friends and associates. This
>> trick won't keep the virus from getting into your
>> computer, but it will stop it from using your
>> address book to spread further, and it will alert
>> you to the fact, that the worm has gotten into your
>> system.
>>
>> Here's what you do: first, open your address book
>> and click on "new contact," just as you would do if
>> you were adding a new friend to your list of email
>> addresses. In the window where you would type your
>> friend's first name, type in AAAAAAA. Same in space
>> labeled screen name. For email address enter:
>> AAAAAAA@AAAAAAA.AAA.
>>
>> Now, here's what you've done and why it works:
>>
>> The "name" AAAAAAA will be placed at the top of your
>> address book as entry #1. This will be where the
>> worm will start in an effort to send itself to all
>> your friends.
>>
>> But, when it tries to send itself to AAAAAAA, it
>> will be undeliverable because of the phony email
>> address you entered. If the first attempt fails
>>(which it will because of the phony address), the
>> worm goes no further and your friends will not be
>> infected.
>>
>> Here's the second great advantage of this method: If
>> an email cannot be delivered, you will be notified
>> of this in your In Box almost immediately. Hence, if
>> you ever get an email telling you that an email
>> addressed to AAAAAAA could not be delivered, you
>> know right away that you have the worm virus in your
>> system. You can then take steps to get rid of it!
>>
>> Pretty slick huh? If everybody you know does this
then you need not ever worry about opening mail from
friends.
Been Caught Cheating
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with
another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she
dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his
penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the
handle.
Next she picked up a hacksaw.
The husband terrified, screamed,"Stop! Stop! You're not going to
cut it off are you?"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said,"Nope. You
are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."