Post by Yuk YuK on Jan 23, 2006 4:14:44 GMT -5
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl
on her new shiny bike stopped beside him."Nice bike," the cop said
"did Santa bring it to you?"
Yep," the little girl said,"he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said,"Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,"Nice horse you got there sir,
did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said,"Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse not on top."
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A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may
have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful For my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
on her new shiny bike stopped beside him."Nice bike," the cop said
"did Santa bring it to you?"
Yep," the little girl said,"he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said,"Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,"Nice horse you got there sir,
did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said,"Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse not on top."
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A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may
have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful For my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
