Post by Yuk YuK on Jan 13, 2006 5:40:43 GMT -5
10 DOG PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not very
funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU
IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled
a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food
chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that
handshake thing yet.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
Best dear john!
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too
great.
I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture
of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note ..
Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not very
funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU
IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled
a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food
chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that
handshake thing yet.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
Best dear john!
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too
great.
I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture
of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note ..
Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.