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Post by [EoM]Pr0c3550r[Q2C] on Sept 3, 2008 5:59:23 GMT -5
Crazy Email
A husband and wife were taking a vacation to Miami to unthaw from the cold weather in north dakota. Due to the increase in air travel the couple was forced to take separate flights on separate days.
The husband flew first and when the plane landed and he got checked in he decided to send his wife an email. He didn't notice the he made a spelling error on the email address so it got sent to a widow that had just come back from her husband's funeral.
The widow checked her email because she expected to hear from friends and family. Right after she read the first email she fainted and her son ran into the room and saw his mom then read the screen. The email said: to my dearest wife i have arrived and got checked in, everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow evening at 4:30 can't wait to see you and we ghave some great neighbors.
Your devoted husband.
P.S. It sure is hot down here!
op Quotes From the 2008 Olympics
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics:
1. Weightlifting commentator:'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2. Dressage commentator:'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
4. Boxing Analyst:'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5. Softball announcer:'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst:'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8. Soccer commentator:'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator:'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Skinny Dippers and a Smart Old Man
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.
One of the women shouted to him,"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and replied,"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said,"I'm here to feed the alligator."
A husband and wife were taking a vacation to Miami to unthaw from the cold weather in north dakota. Due to the increase in air travel the couple was forced to take separate flights on separate days.
The husband flew first and when the plane landed and he got checked in he decided to send his wife an email. He didn't notice the he made a spelling error on the email address so it got sent to a widow that had just come back from her husband's funeral.
The widow checked her email because she expected to hear from friends and family. Right after she read the first email she fainted and her son ran into the room and saw his mom then read the screen. The email said: to my dearest wife i have arrived and got checked in, everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow evening at 4:30 can't wait to see you and we ghave some great neighbors.
Your devoted husband.
P.S. It sure is hot down here!
op Quotes From the 2008 Olympics
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics:
1. Weightlifting commentator:'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2. Dressage commentator:'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
4. Boxing Analyst:'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5. Softball announcer:'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst:'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8. Soccer commentator:'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator:'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Skinny Dippers and a Smart Old Man
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.
One of the women shouted to him,"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and replied,"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said,"I'm here to feed the alligator."